Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
