his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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