I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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