Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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