I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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