you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
