there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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