best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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