I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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