4 words: hood of his car
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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