i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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