I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
