we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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