hell yes lets make some ravioli
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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