just come out here and I will go home with you...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
