It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
