brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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