Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He kissed a someone with a penis
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
