I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
