She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
