remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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