We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
