dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
