Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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