No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
