shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
