Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
