you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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