just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
