I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
