I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
