Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
