are you still at the devil's house?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize