Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
