i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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