Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Randomize
