Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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