he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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