You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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