Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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