thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
