he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
