im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
