we have pet lesbian snakes
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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