So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
