Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
