we have pet lesbian snakes
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
