I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The air was thick with penises
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
