ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
