How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
