I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize