i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
