At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
