I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
