Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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