dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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