reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
