She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
