I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
