this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
