I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize