Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
