Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
it was like eating out sand paper
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
