all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
