but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
