ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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