Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
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