Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
