what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
