what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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