Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
